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The Ballad Of Foxy Cleopatra

Good afternoon Earthlings! I hope everyone had a relaxing and rejuvenating holiday break! While everyone was celebrating their respective holidays, I said goodbye to an old friend. As most of you know I am 27 years young. For the past 9 of those 27 years I have had a friend and confidant, her name was Foxy Cleopatra. Foxy Cleopatra was a 2008 Silver Nissan Altima Coupe, but lets be real she was MUCH more than just that. Today Earthlings, you will all bear witness to The Ballad Of Foxy Cleopatra.

Foxy was my first car that I called my own. When I got my license at the ripe age of 17 (I had no interest in driving, due to the many men that chauffeured me around the beautiful town of Weston) I wasn’t really a driving enthusiast. I was the girl who much rather hitch rides with her friends than actually driving somewhere alone. There was something about the concept of me being in control of a huge robot machine that just really intimidated me. With all of that being said after I got my license I inherited my dads old car. After driving my dads old Mercury Marauder (It was a turbo charged road beast) I guess my parents decided I needed something to call my own. I have always been a radical individual and me driving my dads old wheels just was no longer jiving with my sense of self. As I drove more often and got better at the skill (and a little less shit my pants petrified) they finally decided to purchase me my first car.

One gorgeous spring afternoon I was driving home from cheerleading practice in my dads old car. When suddenly in my side view mirrors I saw the vibrant and oh so familiar red and blue flashing lights. Followed by that site I heard a megaphone over the crescendo of Stairway To Heaven( which was blasting in the car with all 4 windows down), directing me to pull over onto the left shoulder. I quickly peered at the speedometer which read 103…I knew exactly what was going on. I proceeded to get pulled over on the highway for speeding (I told you the Marauder was a road beast) and badgered by the Florida Highway Patrol officer about how young girls shouldn’t speed. As I pulled back onto the highway I frantically called my mom to tell her what just happened. Here is where things get fishy, my mom is a nervous person who tends to freak out at the sign of trouble. As I’m telling her what happened about me going 103 MPH, how the cop badgered me for being a girl, and how I received a $400 speeding ticket; she calmly told me it would be fine. Now, the word “fine” is not in my moms vocabulary; so naturally I knew something was up.

All I could think about on that drive home is how my dad was going to kill me. He was always telling me “Alexis watch your speed”, “Alexis be aware of your surroundings”, “Alexis don’t drive with the music blasting”; and what did I do…I just shit on all of his meaningful advice and landed myself a $400 speeding ticket. As I pulled into my neighborhood my ears were ringing with fear so I thought if I drove slower than Molasses in a freezer I could prolong getting to my consequences. This is where the story gets good, As I am turning the corner into my driveway all I see in front of me is this gorgeous brand new car. My parents surprised me with my first new car on the same day that I got the biggest speeding ticket of life. I got out of the Marauder to find my mom, dad, and grandmama all standing right behind the new car. I didn’t know whether to cry, scream or throw up; and if memory serves me right I did all three.

The excitement of my new car totally enveloped my whole speeding ticket situation. My dad was so proud to be able to give his only child a new car that we decided the ticket I got was null and void. After the shock settled and I ate crow for my huge ticket, I finally got to sit in my new car. The moment I turned her on “Foxy” by Jimi Hendrix came on, it was a sign. I named her Foxy Cleopatra after that. Foxy because of the song playing inside of her the second I got in, and Cleopatra for the strongest most badass lady that ever was. Foxy and I were a team, she took me and my whole life to college, she dropped out of college with me, she protected me when I needed to escape some scary situations, she took me to work, and she was the most dependable vehicle I could have ever asked for.

But, as year 9 rolled around for Foxy so did some problems. Her windows wouldn’t go down anymore, her air conditioning wasn’t cold anymore, and her CD player only worked twice a year. I decided it was time Foxy went to the big car lot in the sky (otherwise known as Carmax) and this past weekend I sold her. In a perfect world I hope someone buys her, fixes her and gives her to another 17 year old girl. Foxy brought me so much joy and happiness I hope her legacy lives on and if it doesn’t physically live on she will always be my first car that I called my own. The picture above was the first photo my dad took of me outside of my new car. Also, don’t worry guys I got a new car and let’s just say it rhymes with Shmercedes Denz 🙂 .

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