Alexis Lee

Good afternoon earthlings, and a happy Hump Day to all! This morning while I was working out (yes, I’m working out again. No, I’m not happy about it) I started thinking about the new Instagram update. I have written about Instagram previously on ALP, really focusing on the over use and exploitation of self  when it comes to the functionality of the app and its user. Today instead of taking a retrospective route on Instagram, I would like to tell everyone how unhappy I am with their newest update.

Instagram always gave us the freedom to be voyeurs into lives that are not our own. The longer Instagram has been around the more and more used it becomes. So, obviously with use by millions upon millions of users updates are expected. The 4 major titans remain in the Game of Social Media. We have Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram. While other social media platforms such as Vine, have been put out of business due to the better user friendly features of the 4 social media titans. I always enjoyed the four titans because all 4 were different. Each app had its own specific functionality:

1. Twitter is for your 140 character count thoughts. A decent source for all sorts of news and a platform for you to share the short blurbs in your head with the rest of the world.
2. Facebook is a great way to connect businesses, families, and people of like minds. Facebook is the default Social Media platform. It has almost become a form of identification. The moment your Grandparents joined Facebook, showed us just how user friendly and easy it is to use.
3. Snapchat is for your random rants, private photos you only want to share with specific people, and basically being shady. Snapchat is so private and is an app based on photo and video sharing…so I will let everyone draw their own conclusions on what it is most widely used for (and no, its not for sharing photos of your family vacation with your Aunt Marge).
4. Instagram is a great platform to promote your business, share your art, and connect with people who live lives you only wish you did. It’s an app that let’s us get close and personal to fame, fortune, and the good life while you are still sitting in your parents basement scratching you’re ass.

But, now the line between the apps have blurred. Instagram has added features that were exclusively being utilized by Snapchat, and to me the line between the apps have totally blurred. Like Snapchat, Instagram now alerts users for “ScreenShotting” and also has added the “Story” feature. Some people might think it’s convenient instead of switching between Snapchat and Instagram, they can now switch to one app and be able to do all of the same features. I on the other hand do not agree with the shade that Instagram has thrown on Snapchat. I like keeping all of my social media separate and I liked the exclusivity that both of these apps gave me. As Someone that makes their livelihood on the Internet this matters to me, I don’t want to be notified every single time one of my followers takes a Screen Shot of one of my Instagram posts, I also don’t enjoy switching between two apps to look at two different “Stories”.

Instagram is just gonna keep throwing their Instashade on Snapchat, the more updates Snapchat comes up with be sure that Instagram will be right behind them following suit. I just hope for the sake of usability and privacy Snapchat stays around and doesn’t ever become the gravesite that is now Vine. Remember guys, if you love an app download it! Your downloads are what keeps their doors open and running (along with the ridiculous amount of advertising dollars). No matter how alike Snapchat and Instagram are they are still both different, and should both be recognized for their differences. Even if Instagram is a being a bit of a copy cat at the moment, Snapchat did the story first, they brought us filters first, and have always given us much needed privacy so don’t forsaken that Snapchat Account.

Good afternoon Earthlings! This week two very exciting, historical, and momentous things happened:

1. We got to see a gorgeous Super Moon
2. The 27th anniversary of my birth

The Super Moon actually fell on the evening of my birthday which made turning 27 even more special. As you all know my birthday is obnoxiously stretched out and over celebrated (I wouldn’t have it any other way), but now it’s back to business! I would like to thank all of my friends and family that showered me with love this week. So far this has been the perfect birthday yet! Now that I am a year older and wiser, I thought sticking to tradition would be best. Back by popular demand, I will now share with you all The 27 Feels of Being 27!

1. It is perfectly normal to feel closer to your Tempur-Pedic mattress than your own family.
2. Not getting carded is the worst feeling in all of the world.
3. All night drinking is ALWAYS followed with at least two days in bed(let’s face it, I can’t hang like I used to).
4. The more I think the more it shows up on face (i.e. The 3 deep set creases that now permanently took up residence on my forehead).
5. Just because a swaggy glass bottle is labeled “Green Juice”, does not always mean its healthy.
6. The more people that eat Gluten-Free the happier I am; more rolls for me.
7. Uber is the man made messiah, without it I don’t think I would have made it to 27.
8. Why drink at a bar, when you can drink wine out of a sippy cup in your bed while watching season 3 of The Gilmore Girls.
9. Before you decide to drop everything and trek the globe, make sure you fully explore the state in which you live.
10. When you have been alive for 7 presidency’s you start to think you deserve to get your face chiseled up on Mount Rushmore.
11. Always direct your main focus towards completion, winning usually follows.
12. Coloring Books aren’t just for kids.
13. If you haven’t figured out your signature drink yet, you should probably just stop drinking.
14. If you are 27 and claim to not suffer hangovers, me and the rest of the 27 club know you are a BIG FAT LIAR.
15. Taco Bell at 4am will still fill your belly, but now you also get to wake up with raging heart burn.
16. Gut instincts are your only instincts; all other feelings are distractions to getting the prize.
17. Listen more, and speak less; gaining knowledge is more fulfilling than trampling over someone else’s thoughts.
18. Never let a man (or anyone else for that  matter) treat you like you aren’t special, last time I checked we are all first edition collectors items.
19. Watch more cartoons, simple and innocent laughter will help ground you.
20. Take your time, rushing is the beginning of failure.
21. Liquid Eyeliner is your friend, don’t be afraid of it.
22. Alone time is the most underrated past time in all human kind.
23. Out of all of the shopping there is to do, nothing is more fun than shopping for office supplies.
24. I finally understand that it is healthy to cut your hair once a month.
25. Your parents are still your best friends, and will still always guide you in the right direction.
26. Depend on happiness within yourself, no one can provide peace to your heart but you.
27. I am so lucky and blessed to have lived for 27 years so far. There was a time in my life that I lived like the Rock N’ Roll greats that weren’t able to make it this far. This birthday has always been daunting to me. When you have a wild streak within you mortality is usually  the last thing on your mind. But, I clearly had my fair share of angels on my shoulder because I’m still here today happy and healthy. So, yes I am thrilled to be a member of the 27 club. I just never ever thought I would be here to see this age, and goddammit I’m so happy I thought wrong.

Also today marks 11 years since a dear friend of mine became an angel. Jess we all love and miss you more than you will ever know. I hope and wish you are up in the sky reading this shit and it’s making you laugh…<3

It is now time for the last installment of my journey through the onion. As perviously mentioned my confinement took a toll on my mental state, but it didn’t totally get me down. Yes ,of course I was sad to be missing out on everything going on outside of my room, with that being said I learned a ton about myself. I like to think of myself as someone who is very self aware, but all of that time alone really made me aware of who I am. I also discovered that I had certain attributes that laid dormant within myself.

First of all I figured out that I have an EXTREME amount of patience. While I was locked up in my tower I started coloring these very meticulous mandalas. A Mandala is a circular design that is made up of intricate geometric patterns. Before the three months of confinement was over I noticed that I had colored over 30 of these. The patience and concentration it took was lost on me while I did them, but once they were finished I was aghast that I was capable of it. I realized that I was actually able to sit down, silence my brain, and focus on one single task until it was completed. The Alexis Lee I knew before this whole mess would have never sat down long enough to focus on something so complicated and time consuming.

I also have learned that taking my time is the most underrated and important thing I have learned to do. I was very much a rusher before my skin problem, but having a problem like severe bacterial acne will teach you how to take your time. Every morning I have to wake up with a full skin regime that I must do, it’s not optional and I cant skip it when I please. With that being said I need to take my time and follow the steps, ever since I had to start this regime it reminds me that I must take my time. If I don’t take my time in the morning to treat my face properly my acne would have never gotten better, and I would still be locked in my cave. Basically if you live your life in a rush and don’t take your time to do everything properly, are you really getting anything done? Taking my time is now my mantra, there is no reason to rush anymore. I have now learned that the more you rush the less you actually accomplish. Running around like a chicken with its head cut off wasn’t enhancing my life but actually hurting it. How washing my face taught me a life lesson is beyond me, but it did and I believe that I am better for it.

Now our journey comes to a close, and I can finally say that I am at peace with my experience. Three months later I am healthy, happy, out of the house, and have beautiful skin. Above all else I think this entire process taught me how to be a better version of myself. Sometimes you need to get knocked right off your high horse and into hiding to realize who you are as a person. Thanks for taking this journey with me through the onion, now everyone go home and take a shower…onions are stinky 😉

“Mirror mirror on the wall; Alexis Lee is no longer the fairest of them all” I feel as if this sentenced repeated itself to me every single day for 3 months. Every morning I woke up I was reminded once my reflection met a mirror that I was no longer the hot friend. I was more like the friend with terrible acne, the friend who used to be pretty, the friend who used to be confident. Since I kept myself under wraps for so long I really built up my obsession with vanity.

I always thought I was vain prior to my skin problem, but once the medication’s side effects kicked it I knew vanity better than I ever had before. I was never the girl who was super concerned about leaving the house with a full face of makeup, but I was the girl that never went out if I had a blemish. I was now face to face with one of my biggest fears, raised, swollen blemishes all over my entire face. I made a strong decision that until my medication was adjusted and my face looked less like a meat lovers pizza, I was not under any circumstances leaving the house. This is when me and newly acquainted vice named vanity really had time to hang out together.

My time at home became an all day obsession with mirrors. Any mirror or reflective surface I could get my hands on was being used as a tool for scrutiny and deep inspection by yours truly. The fact that I looked so different from the girl I was so used to staring at fascinated me. As my appearance progressively got worse I kept feeling farther and farther away from myself. After the second month it was like I was looking at my reflection from outside of my body. I started to disconnect my feelings from my appearance, the less I looked like myself the more I knew I had to refocus my energy. Craving the view of my imperfections was becoming unhealthy, every time I saw them it was a further blow to my disintegrating ego and self confidence.

I knew that if my vanity couldn’t control itself, the girl on the outside looking in had to be shaken up a little bit. I decided that if my face’s appearance wasn’t going to improve I had to improve what lies under the face. If outer vanity couldn’t be achieved and I couldn’t be that shiny penny reflecting at the bottom of the pond, I was going to be something else. I was going to be a crumpled up 100 dollar bill, dirty and torn on the outside but within that bill held value. It was more about being worth more within, as opposed to attractive and holding lesser value.

I began writing everyday in a journal about how staring in that mirror made me feel. What that pain and itch of vanity made me crave, and why on earth it became such an obsession to stare at the imperfections. The more I wrote about the chinks in my armor of beauty the less those chinks effected my insides. The cravings of my reflection lessened and as those cravings shrunk so did my welts. The less I put stock in my appearance the better my skin was getting. Once I filled that notebook with all of my sins of vanity I decided the only way to soothe the beast was to tear the pages out. Just like vanity controlled me, I decided to take that control back. As I marred and tore the pages of that journal out something healed within me. I gained control of myself and my urges for perfection by destroying the beast of vanity.

Layer 2 of my journey taught me that all beasts can be slayed with the right tools. As long as you look within yourself and use the gifts you’re born with you can come out of anything. My talent for words saved me in a battle between vanity and myself. I was able to fill a notebook with feelings and thoughts that ate me alive, and in turn I destroyed that notebook. Vanity was the dragon I needed to slay, and slaying that dragon is exactly what I did. Stay tuned for more layers of my journey, remember you might just learn something about yourself.

Well, now it’s time to tell all of you what has been going on for the past three months. So at the beginning of this Summer after much discussion with my roommates and spiritual advisors (i.e. my parents) I came to the decision that I wanted to seek professional treatment for my acne. Now, I have never had an ongoing battle with acne but for the past two years my skin got really bad. Covering it up with makeup was becoming too difficult ( I also hate having to wear makeup everyday), I began experiencing actual physical pain from the sores, and my self esteem was starting to noticeably deteriorate. I started to feel less like the over zealously self confident Alexis Lee and more and more like a shell of someone I used to be acquainted with.

So, the necessary steps were made and I went to the Dermatologist. I was initially put on a series of prescription creams that came with a long list of restrictions. I couldn’t be exposed to sunlight, I couldn’t eat dairy, I couldn’t take my birth control pills, and I couldn’t be in heavily germ concentrated places. I basically couldn’t do jack shit. After being on these creams for a month and a half my acne got far worse…like I’m talking Deadpool worse. Every morning I woke up with new layers of skin missing, and itching that could not be scratched. Think of the most annoying mosquito bites of your life, but on your face and remember kids when you are on medication like that you aren’t suppose to scratch! I went back to my trusty Dermatologist because I knew there was no way this was the road to recovery.

After my next visit there was a much more aggressive treatment plan laid out for me. I was mentally prepared for more torture because let’s keep it real I love nothing more than some good ole torture. My goal of clear skin was still very important to me, but this was starting to seem like a road with no end. My Dermatologist figured out that my case was worse than when she originally diagnosed me and immediately put me on very strong oral antibiotics and a whole new slew of prescription creams. My activity went from restricted to basically being self imprisoned. I now was sick from the meds, physically in pain from the creams, and questioning why the fuck I even went to the doctor in the first place. Maybe piling makeup on wasn’t so bad after all…at least I could leave the house before.

Today we peeled back the first layer of what I have been through. I want to break this up into layers like an onion, because like myself onions have many layers (good thing I don’t smell like one). This process has changed me as a person and I would love to share that change and insight with all of you. It’s rare to have experiences where you only have yourself to deal with, that’s what made this so unique. In future installments we are going to breakdown vanity, solitude, occupying idle hands, and coming to terms with things passing you by. So stay on this ride with me a  little longer, who knows you might just learn something about yourself.

Hello Earthlings whom I have missed so much! After an almost 3 month break from writing due to a pesky medical condition (we will get to that in tomorrows post), I’m finally back. During this break I have learned a lot, I have spent a TON of time alone, I have become a professional Netflix watcher, and I have taken the hobby of adult coloring to a whole new extreme. I have had some time to reflect on life and the issues I like to write about for Alexis Lee Problems. I am almost one hundred percent positive that everyone will enjoy the newly revived swagger of Alexis Lee Problems. So, let us continue our journey together and crack the walnut of life one problem at a time!

P.S. I would like to thank all of my readers who reached out to me during my absence from the world wide web. All of your well wishes and positive energy helped me deal more than you guys will ever know. <3