Dark Matter: Not Dark Enough

Happy Tuesday Earthlings! I hope everyone had a great long weekend and is ready to take on the week. I had some free time in the past few days so, I was able to catch up on some reading. I picked up a book called Dark Matter by Blake Crouch. It had great reviews and I had recently read Wayward Pines which is a trilogy by Crouch that I enjoyed. Wayward Pines might sound familiar to you guys because Fox Network turned it into a television show. So, naturally after experiencing a great trilogy by Crouch I was all in to read his newest Science Fiction thriller Dark Matter.

Blake is great at painting dark and twisted imagery, whether he is describing a murder or the layered inner workings of String Theory. His words work as vibrant paint for the canvas that is our imagination. Dark Matter started out strong but really didn’t keep me captivated. We are introduced to a scientist named Jason Dessen. Jason chooses to raise a family and let the prime of his career pass him by. While a colleague of his seems to be living the life Jason should have always had. We follow Jason through his eminent abduction, and the last thing he hears before being knocked out is, “Are you happy with your life?”.

We are put on a very fast and winding track inside of the genius mind Jason Dessen laid to waste in leu of having a family. We uncover different realms of human consciousness, get tossed around alternate universes, and trek into dark matter. But, I almost feel like I am describing the book much better than it actually read. One of my favorite things Crouch does is his literary imagery, I mentioned it earlier in regards to his previous trilogy Wayward Pines. However, in Dark Matter there wasn’t such a distinct thumb print on the characters or the story. I feel like Crouch could have dug a little deeper and taken the story to a creepier level. The whole fun in Science Fiction is being able to use technical scientific terminology and I felt like Dark Matter fell short of that. Crouch almost dumbed it down a little to much for us laymen.

If you are a big Science Fiction buff like myself, I would suggest passing on Dark Matter. If you are new into the genre and are more focused on enjoying a thriller filled with twists and turns, than Dark Matter is a great starter novel. I still have plenty of hope and faith in Crouch blowing my mind next time around, but for now he just made it fizzle. Even though Dark Matter didn’t hold up like I expected, Wayward Pines was an excellent trilogy and I definitely would suggest that work by Crouch to anyone!


Season Withdrawal

Earthlings, let us frikkin rejoice because it’s Friday! I don’t know about you guys, but I am thoroughly over this week. On top of being super eager to peace out on this week, I am also super bummed. I think I have self diagnosed myself with something I like to call “Season Withdrawal”. “Season Withdrawal” is basically binge watching all of your favorite new shows, and having to wait a year for new episodes. In my case I not only watch a ton of subscription service based TV, but I also review it all for you guys! So, sometimes I almost feel like I get dually investing in these series.

Since I write for a living I have to schedule my day or else I will lay in my bed all day picking my ass. When you work from home it’s all about self driven motivation. In the mornings I exercise until noon, I then come home to write, and then the third portion of my day is doing my due diligence for Alexis Lee Problems reviews. I get the most and best feedback from my media reviews that it’s some thing I like to focus on every week. A huge portion of that due diligence work is binge watching shows and taking notes on them. It’s literally my favorite part of the day, kind of like when you are in high school and you look forward to lunch.

Here is where the Season Withdrawal comes in! When I have completed watching all of my favorite new episodes…that’s all. Yes of course I also review books and movies, but my favorite reviews to write are of shows. A huge reason why they are my favorite to review is because I am a closet television junky. So, when I am done with all of my shows and the review is written I naturally bum out, and that is where I came up with the condition called “Season Withdrawal”. I recently just finished three new shows, and that “Season Withdrawal” is really creeping up on me. Now I must turn to books and movies to satiate my media addiction but nothing hits the spot like a good series.

Since I am experiencing “Season Withdrawal” at the moment I take breaks from reading and like to take pretty pictures of Sookie. That’s the reason for today’s shared photograph. I hope I didn’t bore you took much with my new found illness, but I have a funny feeling you can all sympathize with me. Wait…this just in hot off the presses!!!!!! Chef’s Table Season 3 was just updated on Netflix today! Consider me cured, I now have a date with a notebook and my Samsung flat screen! Have a great weekend Earthlings!


The Path, You Should Take It

Happy Humpday Earthlings! Valentines Day is over and done with, so now we can get back to our regular schedule programming. I started a Hulu series on a whim a couple of days ago that has one hundred percent blown my mind. First of all, as I get more and more into Hulu, I feel like a two bit cheating hussy for leaving Netflix in the lurch. I must say Netflix needed some quality competition and Hulu is bringing the fire. Thankfully all of this competition to continue blowing viewers minds is just resulting in better television for us. So, I think as a whole the subscribers come out as the winners.

Now back to this totally incredible series I started, it’s called The Path starring Aaron Paul. I was a super faithful watcher of Breaking Bad, so when I heard Aaron Paul was coming back to my TV screen I was nothing less than stoked. Aaron utterly embodied his breakout role as Jesse in Breaking Bad. After five seasons of him impeccably playing a Meth slinging, drug doing, but mystically lovable dude; I knew anything he was going to be involved with from that was destined for greatness.

The Path takes viewers behind the scenes of what goes on inside a cult; the cult is referred to as “The Movement” or also as Meyerism. “The Movement” centers its belief around the power of “light” and the ultimate climbing of “The Ladder”. The cult believes that each rung of the ladder is a level gained in your faith. The higher you climb on the ladder the more influence you hold in “The Movement”. The ultimate goal of “The Movement” is for everyone to become one with the light and to reside in “The Garden Of Life”. Now I’m sure you guys are thinking, “Where the fuck does Aaron Paul come into play here?!”. Aaron plays Eddie Lane, husband of one of the most influential members of “The Movement”, father of Hawk and Summer (a lot of hippy dippy names in this show), and questioner of his lifestyle. We are taken through Eddie’s journey into questioning whether “The Movement” is a way of life or a lie in which people are falling victim into believing. He is so raw and captivating in this role, and we finally get to see him play a paternal role in something. He is so talented at playing a father who is struggling with his beliefs, that about halfway through the first episode you can’t stop but feel total empathy for him.

I don’t want to ruin anymore of the show for you guys, but it’s definitely something ya’ll need to hop on. Right now the whole first season and half of the second season are up on Hulu. Hulu gives us a new episode of The Path every Wednesday. Hurry up and start binge watching so that by tonight you can be caught up and enjoying a fresh new episode of The Path.


10 Boneless Wings, Party of 1

Happy Monday Earthlings! I’m sure everyone is still buzzing over Beyonce from the Grammys last night, but you know we aren’t into hype at Alexis Lee Problems. Beyonce had her moment last night, today is a new day! Not only is it a new day, but it is the day before Valentines Day. If you are anything like me, Valentines Day is really just another random Tuesday. I’m sure if I wasn’t single I would have some serious plans of grandeur with some ridiculously hot boyfriend (yes I said ridiculously hot, because I think that’s what I deserve), but that isn’t the case. Instead of sexy couples plans I have decided where I will be tomorrow night, and that is at Hooters. Yes, I said it tomorrow night I will be spending Valentines Day at Hooters by my god damn self.

Hooters is holding a promotion tomorrow for us single folk. If you are single, Hooters is welcoming us in with open arms to enjoy 10 free Boneless Buffalo wings! But, like everything in this world there is a catch. To obtain said free wings you must provide Hooters with a picture of one of your exes and shred it in front of the whole restaurant. If that isn’t the single greatest catch into getting free food, than I don’t know what is. Hooters isn’t only filling your belly with delicious wings but they are helping you get over old wounds. Honestly, I really don’t know if it’s possible to have more fun than downing wings while simultaneously giving the old fuck you to an ex.

With my copious collection of ex boyfriends, tonight I will have to sort through all of my photos to pick the perfect one to shred. I appreciate Hooters attempt at making Valentines Day fun and inclusive for everyone. This being my third Valentines Day alone, I am starting to become a professional solo Valentines Day rider. At least now I have a special designated singles activity to  be a part of tomorrow night. Everyone just needs to remember everyday is a celebration! Whether you are alone or in a relationship Valentines Day should be fun for everyone. So, I’ll see all of my single brethren tomorrow night as we sacrificially eat wings in the name of terminated love!



Greetings Earthlings, I feel like it’s been hard to be an American this past year. Constantly being Bombarded by statistics, articles, opinions, “fake news”, an election that has torn people apart. Not to mention all of the incredible talent we lost to “The Big Hollywood In The Sky”. But have no fear Earthlings I have news that will make you proud once again to be an American…Kevin Smith took to Instagram 19 hours ago to announce the sequel of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back! will begin filming this Summer. Kevin Smith let us know that after a failed attempt at making Clerks III (which is a total and complete bummer) and missing his “Old Toys” he was ready to give his fans what we have needed for 20 years. Kevin also gifted us with some insider knowledge; he let us know that our favorite characters will return and be played by the original actors (Snoochy boochys babies). He also let on to an all star cast of killer cameos, which Kevin has always done best. So dust off your old Bluntman And Chronic comics, pack your bowls, roll your joints, and visit your local convenience store to load up on proper munchies because the Jersey Boys are coming back mother fuckers!


It’s All Happening

Today I give you gorgeous Earthlings a clip, not just any clip. This movie clip is probably my most watched and adored clip of all time. Sometimes people listen to motivational speeches to seek positive reinforcement, but since the age of 13 I just watch Almost Famous. There is really something about a kid going on tour with a rock band to later become a writer for Rolling Stone that really grabbed my heart. I always wanted to be that kid, but as I got older and my life kind of sloppily unfolded in front of me I realized I was never going to be him. A college drop out can’t bag a job at Rolling Stone in this day and age, a young girl can no longer pile herself into a tour bus and not be considered a groupie, and I just realized I was not the next William Miller. But, this clip has stayed with me, because Penny Lane reminds us that “It’s all happening”. No matter how shitty I feel or how hard I work as a writer and sometimes don’t see the pay off, I always know that “It’s All Happening”. Even when times get hard and you feel like there is too much noise in the background of your dreams, just remember it’s still all happening. That’s what Penny Lane meant when she said it, the world is always happening. I recently have been coming into who I truly think I am as an individual and I think my mantra is finally coming true. Maybe it’s all happening, but I actually think that it’s all finally happening to me. Grasp the good when it comes, and run as fast and as far with good opportunities that present themselves. Never say no, always try, give it your best, and just keep reminding yourself that it’s all happening. <3


Love: Grower Vs. Shower’

Love is super weird Earthlings. I frequently sit and think to myself, have I ever been in love? I mean I would like to answer that with a yes, but I honestly am not sure if I have or haven’t ever been. The big question about love is, is love something that happens in an instantaneous moment or is love something that blossoms over time? Seeing as that I am not even sure if I have ever really truly fallen in love I thought it would be interesting to uncover the mystery of love. Is love something that shows itself right away off rip, or is love an uphill journey on a steep mountain that doesn’t become actualized till you meet its peak?

As most of my loyal followers know I am currently single. By currently single I mean I am single right at this moment and have been riding solo for the past 3 years. My solemn path as of now has been chosen, I could currently be in a relationship but I am finding that I am most comfortable with myself at the moment. I think I am in a great position to break down love, because I am not in love at the moment. It is best to pull something apart that you aren’t close to, it gives me the ability to judge love in a third person view. Now with all of that being said let’s see the two different case scenarios.

Can love be weighed? Can love be measured? Is love even tangible? The answer to all three of these questions is hell no. Love is something that presents itself and then quickly morphs into something else. For some love turns into marriage, sometimes it results in a family, and other times it just brings togetherness with no commitment necessary. Love is one of natures most easily camouflaged emotions, love is a tool. As humans, we use love to cope, to come together, to understand, and to accept. So, now that we know love’s ultimate necessity, let’s see if it grows or shows itself.

There are plenty of situations where people fall in love with their best friends, in that respect love is one hundred percent a grower. Friendships are based upon love from the start, but it isn’t a romantic love. It’s a love that is forged through trust and mutual respect. Now, if you have fallen in love with your best friend than, I would definitely have to say love is a grower and less of a shower’. It took time for that romance and passion to root itself within the friendship, this love wasn’t discovered on its own. If you ask me the growing type of love is a good base for a long term and happy life with someone. You guy’s have already done the work as friend’s and now as time and experiences flow through two people it sheds light on a more mature love. A love that took time, a love that needed attention, and ultimately a love that needed to be nurtured.

Now, we can get to the type of love I may or may not have experienced before, lol. Sometimes you will spot someone who crosses your path and in that exact moment you feel something. Now, here is where growing vs. showing comes in clutch. Is that immediate passion love? In that first second that you saw said stranger and you got that feeling of complete passion…what would you describe that passion as? Would that be love at first sight…maybe. If you ask me that passion of first sight is just that, passion. I belong to team grower, as I write this and dissect my own experiences I know that I have had that first sight passion. As we talk about love and discuss its inner workings I can say that I have experienced passion at first sight, but never love. So maybe its all about growing, feeding a need, learning a person, and understanding faults. That’s what love is, and on going growth of two people together. So, call me myth busters because I cracked the case!


Why We All Need To Experience The Santa Clarita Diet

Monday’s…ugh; I mean especially ugh when it’s the Monday after Super Bowl Sunday. But, I have something to make all of you hungover Earthlings excited to get home from work today. The Super Bowl was not the only great thing to grace our televisions this past weekend, The Santa Clarita Diet also premiered. I expect after you all read this review you’ll be racing home to begin Episode 1 Season 1 of The Santa Clarita Diet. I took it upon myself to binge watch the entire first season on Saturday night, so you guys didn’t have to. I’ve been getting a TON of positive feedback from my recent reviews on books, movies, and shows. I thought I would get  jump on The Santa Clarita Diet and review it for all of you so you don’t have woof the whole thing down in one shot.

First of all Netflix went above and beyond to promote The Santa Clarita Diet. I’m totally digging on them selling the show as a real life diet. Netflix sent Green Juice cups advertising The Santa Clarita Diet to a ton of social media influencers, the influencers posted themselves working out with their cups all over the internet. The ingenious marketing ploy made us all believe that there was some new hot diet we all needed to try, when in reality Netflix was selling us a Zombie Comedy. If that isn’t brilliant marketing than I don’t know what is, any show that can create that type of buzz before airing is something I am interested in.

Drew Barrymore and Timothy Oliphant make one of the best on screen campy couples that I have seen in a long time. They have great comedic timing and have us all believing that maybe they really are married. They spear head a witty and well versed ensemble cast, that just completes the whole picture. The show gives me super reminiscent vibes of our dearly departed Weeds. Both shows take place in suburban Southern California, and both shows encapsulate just how hard it is to be a housewife and have a HUGE secret. Weeds and The Santa Clarita Diet both know exactly how to balance comedy with serious story lines. In the case of The Santa Clarita Diet, we are laughing out loud even though Drew Barrymore is eating her neighbors alive.

Drew Barrymore seems to almost be playing herself, The Santa Clarita Diet makes us all think that maybe Drew is a flesh eating residential real estate broker in real life. It’s hard for women to deliver a decent dick and fart joke, but Drew makes it look so natural in The Santa Clarita Diet just like she has in 50 First Dates and The Wedding Singer. She also has a way of making a working mom seem whimsical, like maybe I wouldn’t mind befriending this mom zombie. Timothy Oliphant is one hundred percent hitting his mark at playing the cool dad. Between his secret pot smoking, and constant reminiscing on his high school quarter back days; we all have a general empathy for his character. But he doesn’t remain a peaked out high school wash up, we get to watch his character develop strength and a huge set of nuts as the first season progresses.

The only thing I’m upset about when it comes to The Santa Clarita Diet is that I have to wait a year for season 2. It definitely will fill a huge void for any fans of Weeds, but also has forged its own path. Gore and comedy are woven together so well in The Santa Clarita Diet, and I think it has carved its own special niche in television. It will be exciting to see up coming shows that will try the recipe The Santa Clarita Diet has followed. I will honestly say they have taken a difficult task and knocked the ball so far out of the park, I don’t think it can be found again.


Must Read: The Circle

Good afternoon Earthlings! I just finished reading a book called The Circle by Dave Eggers. I couldn’t help but review The Circle, because it was THAT good. Now before I tell you anything about the book, (because I know not all of you are avid book readers) later on this year a feature film based on The Circle will be released. According to studio production in Hollywood, the film is set for release in late April, and here’s the kicker the stars of the movie are Emma Watson and Tom Hanks. So, with that being said you already know this story has to be incredible if Emma and Tom signed on to the project!

The book takes place in the not so far future from today. Society has turned to social networks to provide solutions to life’s problems. Currency, photos, products, and human behavior have totally been taken over by The Circle. The Circle is the Social Network that absorbed all of the networks we use and love today. We learn that Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and a few other made up companies were taken by The Circle. The book starts out as a Millennial’s utopia, but we all know utopian societies only last for so long…

The original creator of The Circle is named Ty. He is your typical hacker type who prefers baggy hoodies and privacy to designer duds and fancy parties. Of course some shut-in can’t run the world’s largest company by himself. We are then introduced to Bailey and Stenton; the two men that complete “The 3 Wise Men” including Ty. Bailey is a family man whose belief in transparency and information sharing is the main ideal that constructs The Circle. Stenton is your run of the mill corporate shark billionaire, who has very little emotion but what seems to be endless amounts of power.

As I read The Circle the themes of transparency, information sharing, and corporate greed translate perfectly into the world we live in today. This story is relatable and eerily mimics a lot of the things we fear most today. The Circle shows how hard it is for people in their 20’s to find jobs, forge relationships organically, and really uncovers how social pressures can leave permanent scars on humanity. I think The Circle is relevant today more than any other dystopian novel I have read in the past year. I don’t want to give too much away, but I will say this book has you on edge from start to finish. I completed all of its 497 pages in 48 hours, the themes wrap you up in such a way that the story does not let you put it down. I felt like after reading The Circle maybe social media is going to far…or maybe further is what we need. The book leaves you contemplating so many different emotions, and to me that is the proof of perfection. If I have finished a book but for days after I am still mulling over the story and all of its different possibilities, that’s when I know a book is great. I highly reccomend The Circle to anyone and everyone! It explores things that people of all ages can appreciate. It might open your eyes to certain ideas we are being exposed to now as citizens of the world that you didn’t realize before reading The Circle.


The Sisterhood Of The Far Away BFF’s

Happy Hump day Earthlings, it’s a gorgeous day to be back in the blogosphere! Hopefully my sites most recent run in with hacker scum will be its last. With that being said, it’s back to your usual programming! I thought since you guys haven’t heard from me in a while I would solve a problem. Alexis Lee Problems was founded on the belief that there is no problem that I cannot solve. As long as I have enough trial and error, I can usually get to the bottom of anything. So, let us take a solid journey back to the root of things; Alexis Lee trying to solve your problems

One of the biggest “problems” I have ever had in my life is when my best friend Natalie moved to Texas 5 years ago. We both knew that when she moved it was going to be up to us to make it work. Since the both of us never ever feign in the site of challenges, we we were up for it. Natalie and I knew that we were about to have a rough road ahead of each us…but we were going to totally kill this long distance best friend bullshit. As I meet more people and grow older I hear a lot of chatter of people moving away and growing apart. When I look in retrospect at our friendship I actually notice that with this distance our hearts as sisters have never been closer. I want to share what Natalie and I do to make it work and how no matter where we are in the world we still know what each other is having for dinner every single night. So without further adieu, here are three easy steps to being in a Long Distance Best friendship!

  • Facetime Dates Forever! Natalie and I have a little inside joke (if I put it on the internet I guess it isn’t and inside joke anymore, lol) whenever we Facetime we always “Thank Steve Jobs Ghost”. Pretty much since Facetime was developed Natalie and I knew that this would be our greatest tool fighting the distance. We schedule Facetime dates on the weekends, and virtually hang out for hours. Whether I am doing the dishes or she is doing the laundry, or if we are both getting ready for a night out in our respective states we can still do those things together. This is why we are always thanking the ghost of Steve Jobs, because he gave us the greatest gift of endless hangouts no matter how far the distance.
  • Hotline Bling! Nat and I have a scheduled morning phone call Monday thru Friday. Since we live in different time zones she calls me every morning at 9am Houston time, which rings me at 10am Miami time! No matter what the circumstances are we both try very hard to never miss this call. We always give each other a run down of how our day is scheduled and then always plan our next chat for after work. Since I work from home that second call is when Nat gets in her car to drive home from work (this is how we know what each other is having for dinner). These two calls a day make it seem that distance just doesn’t exist in our world.
  • Vacations all I Ever Wanted! Obviously telephone’s and facetime’s only go so far, thats when planned visits come into play. We devised a visiting schedule that is fool proof. Every other month one of us goes to the other, this way we end up seeing each other a lot more! Due to work schedules and other conflicts it doesn’t always work out perfectly, but we get pretty damn close to sticking with that schedule. We schedule the trips at least two months in advance, so the flights are always really affordable. We always say, if you want to make it work you have to try! We also love planning vacations together as often as possible. Whether we meet in Vegas for 4 days or she takes a weekend down to Miami and we stay on the beach, we always manage to have the best time.

You never really realize how much you love and appreciate your best friend until they move away. I know we both feel closer to each other now than we did growing up, and I think it’s due to the distance. The distance tested who we were as friends to overcome a challenge together. I know everyday without your best friend down the street from you can be rough, but also know that having a best friend who lives in a different state can be fun! Natalie and I are firm believers that our Cosmo’s are always half full, and I think that’s why we have been sisters for the past  13 years.


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