Hello readers! For the past 10 days I have been on radio silence. Memorial Day Weekend was a weekend of loss for my friends and family. My best friend lost her grandmother, and one of our childhood friends passed away as well. I was having a really hard time finding my voice to write for the past ten days. With emotions running high, writing inspiration ran low. Between helping my best friend grieve for her grandmother, I had to wrap my head around loosing someone my age with such a bright future ahead of himself. Today I have found my voice through loss.
Above is a picture of Alexis Lee prior to learning she ever had any problems. The picture above is a happy go lucky 3 year old. In the photograph I am walking forward. Do I know where I was going…I couldn’t tell you, but I was moving forward. At 3 years old there is no hurt, there is no pain, there is no suffering. You concern yourself with skinned knees and who has the best Barbie collection. Sometimes I wish I could tap that 3 year old girl on the shoulder and tell her about how her life was going to turn out thus far. I wish I could hold her and tell her that the world is cruel, that people will leave her, and that sunshine only comes after a storm. I wish I could hold her hand and direct her to the right choices, I wish I could tell her she was going to hate college, I wish I could tell her to always think twice before acting. I wish I could tell her, her heart would be shattered more than once before turning 25. I wish I could let her know that cutting her hair into a bob when she turned 18 was a bad idea.
No one has that third person power to tell their younger self how life will turn out, but as the past ten days have crawled forward I understand that. I want everyone reading this to let this soak in. Hug your parents, let your mom bitch at you, listen to your dad’s crazy stories (no matter how many times you have heard them), accept your friends for their faults, don’t hate your exes. Life is a roller coaster, and last time I checked you can’t get off a roller coaster once its began. Don’t let life swallow you, don’t let pain cripple you, and never ever let anyone tell you no. Keep pushing forward, use the time others weren’t given to improve who you are.
Just please everyone remember how lucky you are every day to be here on this crazy earth. Always keep that 3 year old in mind before you make a decision, because at the end of the day I know I am still that little girl walking forward. I will never let the wonder out of who I am because that makes me Alexis Lee. Stay genuine and love as much as you can while you can. We are only given one ride on this roller coaster called life, so make sure you use that one ticket exactly how you want to.