Happy Saturday party people! I thought today would be a great day to shine some light on the men in your life. What better time than Saturday evening; I’m sure all of you are settling your plans of action and picking out the men you’d like to show off. Tonight I would love to uncover how a mans choice in Bourbon can tell you everything you need to know about them. I know this sounds a tad bit farfetched but, I’ve been around a lot of men in my time and I think I have cracked the code. So sit back and enjoy my personality dissection based on how your man likes to get lubricated.
The Angel’s Envy Man: This is your classic frat boy with money. He has just made it a point to order the most expensive cask Bourbon at the bar, and trust me he wants you to know it. This is the guy who gets kicked out of brunch yelling, “Do you know who my father is?!’. This is the guy who likes to play reserved and interesting, but he really just exudes obnoxious and undesirable. You can see this man whipping right up to the valet in either a Benz, Beemer, or loaded Audi. He is also the guy that slides the valet a couple extra bucks for curbside parking, because obviously he wants everyone to know who he is. His hair style is contrived and loaded with product (good luck trying to run your fingers through it while you’re tipsy). And this hair isn’t styled it is “coiffed”, he probably uses a round brush and a blow dryer to complete the look. Most likely he douses himself in cologne so it walks into the room before him. If you are a fan of the over privileged and under stimulating, this ladies is the man for you.
The Jim Beam Guy: Now we get to your neighborhood drunk dude. This is a man that walks into the bar in jeans, t-shirt, and boots that have whatever he stepped in 3 years ago crusted on the sides. This guy left his taste and appreciation for good booze and conversation at the door, based on entry he is there to get FUBAR (Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition). He can walk into a bar with or without a girl, it really doesn’t hold him back from hollering at every piece of ass that passes his glance. The Jim Beam Guy also doesn’t care if he is hitting on a taken woman, he must of left his respect with everything else. Don’t get too invested in anything you are watching on TV at the bar, because this is the man that will have the servers changing the channel every 10 seconds. Once he is cut off and refuses to pay his tab (trust me I have seen this with my own eyes) he insists on driving himself home with no regard for safety. So ladies if you like ’em rough, cheap, and rowdy the Jim Beam Guy is the perfect fit.
The Makers Mark Gentleman: This is the man with the perfect beard! He takes pride in the length, conditioning, and hygiene of his facial hair. The Makers Mark Gentleman can be spotted in a very well fitting plaid button down with perfect blue jeans on. This man is practical and enjoys nice things. He is a man that would offer to buy a lady a drink without creepy vibes. These guys are usually well rounded Renaissance Men, from fixing flat tires to playing perfect Guitar they are always full of surprises. He is never the one to start a fight but usually the one to end it. This guy is every guys best friend, every girl’s confidant, and always moms favorite. If you want a well rounded, good looking, man of interests I suggest you scoot up next to the Makers Mark Gentleman!
I hope this list has provided some decent insight and helps everyone on their journey’s tonight!