Well, now it’s time to tell all of you what has been going on for the past three months. So at the beginning of this Summer after much discussion with my roommates and spiritual advisors (i.e. my parents) I came to the decision that I wanted to seek professional treatment for my acne. Now, I have never had an ongoing battle with acne but for the past two years my skin got really bad. Covering it up with makeup was becoming too difficult ( I also hate having to wear makeup everyday), I began experiencing actual physical pain from the sores, and my self esteem was starting to noticeably deteriorate. I started to feel less like the over zealously self confident Alexis Lee and more and more like a shell of someone I used to be acquainted with.
So, the necessary steps were made and I went to the Dermatologist. I was initially put on a series of prescription creams that came with a long list of restrictions. I couldn’t be exposed to sunlight, I couldn’t eat dairy, I couldn’t take my birth control pills, and I couldn’t be in heavily germ concentrated places. I basically couldn’t do jack shit. After being on these creams for a month and a half my acne got far worse…like I’m talking Deadpool worse. Every morning I woke up with new layers of skin missing, and itching that could not be scratched. Think of the most annoying mosquito bites of your life, but on your face and remember kids when you are on medication like that you aren’t suppose to scratch! I went back to my trusty Dermatologist because I knew there was no way this was the road to recovery.
After my next visit there was a much more aggressive treatment plan laid out for me. I was mentally prepared for more torture because let’s keep it real I love nothing more than some good ole torture. My goal of clear skin was still very important to me, but this was starting to seem like a road with no end. My Dermatologist figured out that my case was worse than when she originally diagnosed me and immediately put me on very strong oral antibiotics and a whole new slew of prescription creams. My activity went from restricted to basically being self imprisoned. I now was sick from the meds, physically in pain from the creams, and questioning why the fuck I even went to the doctor in the first place. Maybe piling makeup on wasn’t so bad after all…at least I could leave the house before.
Today we peeled back the first layer of what I have been through. I want to break this up into layers like an onion, because like myself onions have many layers (good thing I don’t smell like one). This process has changed me as a person and I would love to share that change and insight with all of you. It’s rare to have experiences where you only have yourself to deal with, that’s what made this so unique. In future installments we are going to breakdown vanity, solitude, occupying idle hands, and coming to terms with things passing you by. So stay on this ride with me a little longer, who knows you might just learn something about yourself.